Successful Shopping, Counterfeit Condiments

I had a successful grocery shopping trip today. I took a written shopping list with me, and stuck to it. Well, I actually did buy two additional things, but they were not impulse buys — they were needed items that I’d forgotten to write down, and was reminded when I saw them in the store. I even added them to the list before actually picking them up, just to make it official.

Lunch Before Shopping

Maybe the most noteworthy part of the outing occurred before I did my grocery shopping. Since it’s a bad idea to grocery shop on an empty stomach, especially when trying to avoid impulse buying, I decided to have lunch first. I stopped at KFC. Perhaps not the healthiest choice, but hey, I could do worse than chicken.

Honey and Butter?

The person behind the counter asked “Would you like honey and butter for your biscuit?”  “Yes, please” I replied. When it came time to eat the biscuit, I searched my tray for the honey and butter, but the closest things I could find were these:

“Honey Sauce” and “Buttery Spread” according to the packets. Click the thumbnails for a look at the fine print and you’ll see that the first three ingredients in “Honey Sauce” are high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, and sugar. Oh, there’s a teensy bit of honey in there somewhere — “7% real honey” the package brags. As for the “Buttery Spread”, who knows what’s in it. Probably no butter. Lacking an ingredient list, the only clue is “artificially flavored”. I’m guessing  whipped vegetable oil and fake butter flavor. I suppose  fake butter is nothing new, but fake honey? I guess that’s one more reason to eat at home. At least I have honey and butter. The real kind, that comes from bees and cows.


10 responses to “Successful Shopping, Counterfeit Condiments

  1. wow. i totally agree with everything you’ve said in this post, as well as the spirit in which you said it. not only the “fakeness” of it but the sheer waste…more of their damn plastic into the earth, sea, landfill, planet. aaaggghhh. eating out used to be fun. now it’s a land mine of waste, chemicals and torture for the animals.
    can you tell i’m a little quick and grumpy today? my trip to the gro/pharmacy was spent filling an rx (necessary) for heart situation that cost me $80 and has now had terrible adverse reactions. can’t use it. $80 gone. (on the high side, after being vegan for 7 months…have lost 10 lbs … 15 more to go and was told i no longer need the open heart surgery they were planning… yayyyy!) so i guess i should shut up and go make my grocery list. real honey will be on it. cheers!

    • Mike | HomelessOnWheels

      That’s true too, Tammy. Fast food generates way too much plastic trash. Some places have pump dispensers for condiments which helps a bit for eat-in customers.

      Yep, the price of medications is enough to justify its own rant, isn’t it? That will be nice once you get things under control and get off the meds… save money and no more side effects.

  2. Fortunately, I don’t really like honey — although the jar in my cabinet is real. What’s worse is that those biscuits (which are quite tasty) are already slathered in oils and stuff after they’re cooked, so they’re already “dressed”.

    I eat fast food, too, but I do limit portion sizes much more than I used to. That at least limits the chemicals, I suppose.

  3. I don’t eat at KFC (vegetarian) but the few times I’ve had to go in, the only thing I’ve ordered is corn. Funny that it’s the only “real” thing they’ve got!

    I was in Publix the other day ordering a sub (I love their sandwiches) and I spotted a tub behind the counter that said something like, “Vegetably oil.” I took one look at it and realized they couldn’t call it vegetable oil because that’s not what it was…. so they worked around it by calling it vegetably. Sneaky! But, my veggie sub from them doesn’t have any “vegetably oil” put on it, so I’m safe…as long as the olive oil isn’t really olivey oil!

    • Mike | HomelessOnWheels

      “Vegetably Oil?” LOL. I can’t imagine what it might be. Animal or mineral, I suppose. I’m glad you were able to avoid it. I think the first time I can recall the use of a “y” in that manner was many years ago at McDonalds, where they sold (maybe still do?) “Chocolatey Chip Cookies.”

      • The spooky thing is, I think the “chocolatey chip cookies” were actual chocolate back when I was a kid. The word “chocolatey” back then meant more along the lines of “filled with chocolate” or “rich chocolate flavor”, not “we can’t call this chocolate, so we’ll call it ‘chocolatey'”.

        Kraft singles are “Pasteurized process cheese food product”. I love how they name of it has to remind you that it’s food – maybe there was some doubt at some point? 😀

        “Buttery spread” I can believe – lots of people don’t even expect real butter at restaurants anymore, and still more think it’s not particularly healthy for you.

        But “honey sauce”? There are times when I wish they’d just say “we have honey, but it’s gotten more expensive so we can’t just give it away. We’ll sell you a packet for a dime”. I’d cheerfully pay the dime. 🙂 Either that, or just put packets of corn syrup on the counter, and label them as such.

        I’m still trying to come up with what would be in a vegetable oil that would necessitate calling it “vegetabley”. If my foodie brain had to guess, I’d say real oil + water + some sort of emulsifier that keeps the water and oil from separating.

        Or if it was used for deep frying, vegetable oil + some sort of animal fat. You just can’t do frying properly without a pretty much pure fat.

        Great post (and comments so far)!

  4. Scary how every fast food place has replaced food items to make it as profitable as possible.

    • Mike | HomelessOnWheels

      Hi Marc, and welcome. It does seem to be a trend, doesn’t it? And you are probably right that profit is the motive, as it seems that if it isn’t offering a cheaper substitute for a real item (or substituting cheap ingredients for expensive ones) it’s loading things up with preservatives to extend shelf life.

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